Hello everyone,
On Tuesday I talked to you about positivity and keeping your head up in rough situations. Today I would like to look a little closer on what those rough situations may include. Thats right, get your snorkels on because we are going in deep, we are talking about fears. Be it fears of snakes, spiders or, even death. Everyone has them and they all have some sort of impact on our life. When people encounter fears they look at them like a challenge and realize they have 2 options. 1, they can let there fears control them and make them scared to move on to greater happier things in life, or 2, they keep there head up move forward to face that fear. No matter what it is. Lets start with something simple like explaining why i want to talk about fears in the first place.
I have a fear. My fear is a fear that deep down inside i feel everyone has. I am scared of dying. I am scared that not only will i lose the life i have worked so hard to build but, that i will not get to grow up and live a long and healthy life with the mile stones i was hoping to have. Theres a point almost everyday were i ask myself "will i get to watch my toddler take his/her first steps across my living room floor?" Will i not get to experience all the great memories every person should have during the course of there long happy lives? Ever since i was a little girl I have always looked forward to walking down the isle in a remake of my Oma's dress about to get married to the one i love. Now I'm not even sure if ill get to graduate high school. I dread this so much. I don't think you understand how scary it is to not be entirely sure that ill survive. I understand no one knows what lies ahead but i still get worried not having the slightest bit of a plan. Although i have all the support anyone could ever ask for i still don't know what to do. When I'm in need i have my mom and family, when I'm confused i have my thoughts an even more support. ive got everything i need except for one thing... i don't know i actually need these things. it feels like ive done absolutely nothing and have been given all the gifts in the world. it gets to a point were i almost feel guilty for getting all these gifts. even though deep down inside i know i really like them and would be torn to pieces if i was not as lucky as i feel i am, they just don't feel right. I guess what I'm trying to say is that i don't want to seem like a spoiled brat who takes advantage of the people around her, thats another one of my fears.😕
Anyways back to my fear of dying. It was last week when i realized i had this fear. it just came to me when i was asking god if i was going to get to grow up. it was then when i had the realization (the first step to facing a fear). when you realize something of that significance it just gives you an epiphany of an acceptance process. this process so to speak is different for everyone. when your accepting that theres a monster under your bed or, you freak out in small spaces this realization stage has to happen. once you realize you just have let it sink in. My process of sinking in went somewhat smoothly (for it was not hard for me to accept). I am not the kind of person who finds it hard to accept when i cant do something. That might be different for others though. See when i face a challenge that i can live with, i most likely will just go with it. But, there are some people in the world who would be stubborn to do that. These people are real perseveres, they are the folks who will do anything and everything to face that challenge, there for will find it hard to admit a weakness or a fear. luckily for me admitting that I'm scared of dying isn't exactly the toughest thing. Its actually quite easy. Any ways whether it was easy or hard once you have accepted it you have finished step 2 to overcoming your fear.
Lets quickly recap those steps:
1)realization ( the epiphany that you have a fear)
2)acceptation ( accepting that you have a fear and letting it sink in)
And this brings us to our final stage. this stage gives you an option after everything we've talked about, this gives you the freedom to decide wether you 1: face your fear or, 2: live on with this fear and, make it part of your life. I have absolutely no idea what i should do at this point. I'm clueless. I also cant decide wether or not being clueless is a bad thing. Its hear were you guys can do your part to help me. saying as i have no idea what decision I'm gong to make I'm asking you for your opinion.
lets go over my choices.
My fear: i am scared of dying.
option 1: i can let this fear sit inside me while trying to live my life happily. lets look at pros and cons to that.
pros:
- i don't have to worry about living up to expectations
i don't have to work my self up over making a gameplan
cons:
i might live with this fear not knowing what could happen
it might eat me inside out making me want to rip my hair out
option 2: i can stand up again face my fear and live on.
pros:
it wont be eating me inside out
my mom says not to be scared of anything because she tells me my life is in gods hands, i find courage whenver i think of these words.
it will be one less thing to worry about
cons:
it will be one more thing i have to be done with
it adds on to my list of things i need to complete in order to be happy
Wow that was hard. its not very easy trying to make a decision like this (especially when you don't know much about your options). well i hope ive given you enough to work with because honestly i need your help. please comment down below what you think I should do. oh and also make sure to tell me about a time were you had to face a fear. Thanks for reading everybody. i hope you can catch me Sunday for the vlog and Tuesday for my next entry. don't forget to subscribe to youtube and remember everyone stay happy live long:)
-Natasha
XOXO